Coaching in the Digital Age

Speaker 1 0:04

COVID changed the world for coaching . My personal opinion would be for the good , because all of a sudden it became acceptable practice . I coach people in Africa . I coach people in the Middle East . I coach people on the West Coast . Before that wasn't sort of accepted practice in the Middle East , I coach people on the West Coast . Before that wasn't sort of accepted practice in the same way , or it was seen as less than .

Speaker 2 0:36

Hi friends , this is Read and Write with Natasha podcast . My name is Natasha Tynes and I'm an author and a journalist . In this channel I talk about the writing life , review books and interview authors . Hope you enjoy the journey . Hi everyone , and welcome to another episode of Read and Write with Natasha . We have with us today Antonia Baring , who's a highly credentialed top New York executive coach . She's a frequent speaker to companies and groups on topics ranging from mindfulness , adhd in the workplace and communications best practices ADHD in the Workplace and Communications Best Practices . Her latest book , coach Yourself Become the Best Version of Yourself , using Practical Frameworks , shares insights and expertise , offering readers an opportunity to unlock their full communication potential . So , antonia , thank you for joining me today . So excited to have you today and talk about communication , since this is something I'm familiar with , since this is my background . And so first , antonia , I want to talk about your book Coach Yourself . Yeah , so are you saying we don't need coaches anymore , we can just coach ourselves ? So let's hear about your book . Sure .

Speaker 1 2:14

And I also just want to say I'm really happy to be here , I'm really happy to talk about the book and writing in general , and also I love that you said her latest book . It's actually my first book , but it won't be my last , that's for sure . Exactly so thank you Exactly .

Speaker 2 2:34

That was intentional , by the way . Thank , you .

Speaker 1 2:37

I like that , I like that Words matter , right , of course . And do we need coaches ? Well , that is a yes , no , maybe , answer . So , yes , I think there will always be a place for coaches , real people , I think , increasingly , we are seeing a lot of it go online and I have . We can talk about that in more detail . I think there's some definite pros to that . And can you coach yourself ? Yes , absolutely . What you need to coach yourself is a learning mindset that you have to show up with . That , yeah , and you need a certain amount of resilience , because it's harder without a kind of built in accountability system of another person , correct . And thirdly , you need some good resources , like my book , to help you on that journey . So I'd say you know this is not scientific I'd say you can get 70 , 75% of the way there If you have the learning mindset and the resilience , without a human coach . Absolutely .

Speaker 2 3:58

So I personally hired a coach , I hired the business coach and it was really amazing for me . Hired a coach , I hired a business coach and it was really amazing for me and I believe in the power of coaches . But I hate lots of skepticism about coaching , especially online coaches , right ? So some people say , like anyone can be a coach , you don't need any certification , and people like pop up on online I see I'm a fitness coach , I'm a wellness coach , and is that good or bad ? Do you need a degree ? Are people overusing the definition of a coach ? What do you think ? If you want to respond to the skeptics ?

Speaker 1 4:38

Yeah , great , great , great and thoughtful and provocative question . So let me take that in pieces . First of all , I completely agree that one of the big challenges of this industry because it is a multi-billion dollar industry now is the very low bar to enter . The very low barrier to entry right there there isn't one . You can say you're a coach , I do say I'm a coach , but there's nothing stopping anyone from saying I'm a coach and so that is a problem , because it's a . It's a problem of quality , perception of quality and actual quality .

Speaker 1 5:24

Okay , and the way around that in the space I work in is it's better than nothing , but it's still not great is there is a couple of certifying bodies . The one I'm certified through is the international coaching Federation . I think there's one or two others that are internationally known , and personally I would never work with an executive coach who wasn't certified through one of those bodies , just as a minimal quality guarantee . It means you had to go through a course , it means you had to take a test , it means you actually had to record live coaching sessions and have them evaluated by evaluators , by evaluators . So it doesn't really have any teeth , but a lot of larger companies do require certification for you to coach in them , like big financial institutions or big kind of Fortune 100 , fortune 500 companies .

Speaker 1 6:43

So that's part of your answer , okay . The other part would be everything I just said is not relevant . If you're talking about a health coach , right , yeah , a health coach and an executive coach are completely well , in many , many ways different , okay . And then is a life coach an executive coach or a health coach or they , everything sort of overlaps because we are human beings and in some ways I am a life coach because I teach . I excuse me , ooh , that was a Freudian slip I don't teach , I coach human beings who have lives right , correct ?

Speaker 2 7:25

Yeah .

Speaker 1 7:25

So there's a lot of shades of gray . What I would say to be a discerning consumer is first of all check . If you decided you were going to work with a coach , really figure out what kind of coach you need . Because , as you just said , natasha , a business coach is very different than an executive coach , is very different than a career coach career . I would absolutely want to look for someone who , in their sort of tagline or website , put career transition or career engagement as one of the key things they did . Okay , so drop me down one more part . Can I answer one more part ? Yeah , please go ahead . The last part would be the online coaching .

Speaker 1 8:29

So COVID changed the world for coaching . My personal opinion would be for the good , because all of a sudden , it became acceptable practice for I coach people in Africa , I coach people in the Middle East , I coach people on the West Coast . Before , that wasn't sort of accepted practice in the same way , or it was seen as less than so , a very well-credentialed , experienced coach , credentialed , experienced coach coaching online is not a problem in my opinion . What is a different issue is because of the boom in coaching . There are lots of coaching agencies , lots of coaching online platforms . A couple are really well known , like BetterUp . That's huge and they have a place . They tend to pay the coaches less and they tend to charge the clients less , making them more accessible to maybe middle levels of management or even direct to consumer coaching . That wouldn't have been possible if it wasn't online .

Speaker 1 9:52

The challenge there goes right back to the beginning of this conversation . There's a huge variety of quality and so as a consumer of coaching , as a client , you need to be very demanding , and I can talk a little bit more about what that could look like . If you want yeah , sure , please , go ahead . Well , so I think , first it's knowing exactly what kind of coach you want , right ? Is it business coach you want , right ? Is it business , is it executive ? Is it health , is it life ? And everybody who's a coach will give you a 30-minute chemistry meeting or a get-to-know-you free meeting and if they don't walk away Like that's part of our business development process , and if someone won't do that , walk away .

Speaker 1 10:48

Secondly , always , even if it's just for your own , like peace of mind , talk to at least two coaches so that you can feel fit , feel that intangible , just gut reaction to oh , I like this style better or I feel like I might be able to create trust with this person more easily . And then the last thing I would say , particularly if you're paying , but even if your company is , particularly if you're paying , but even if your company is , if it's not working for you , no-transcript right away . And if you don't get the reaction you're looking for , find someone else . And even if the coach says , oh yeah , I'll , okay , let's try it this way , let me and it doesn't work find another coach . You need to be a discerning customer okay , so let's do this .

Speaker 2 11:55

I want to be a book coach , right , and I have a lot like 20 years or actually more now you know how old I am of writing and publishing and published a book and the process of publishing another one , the process of publishing another one , and based on my over two decades of experience and running multiple cohorts , I think I'm qualified enough to coach and I've already coached people . Actually , I did not even advertise it . People came to me asked for private coaching . So because I saw the market demand , I'm in the process now of launching my own coaching program .

Speaker 1 12:39

Is this true or are you it is true ?

Speaker 2 12:43

It's true . Okay , so you're giving me free advice here , so , and I'm and I'm hope , of course , it's going to be helpful for anyone who wants to do this Do I need to get a certification in book coaching or no ? To make me more credible In what ? Coaching ? In book coaching , book coaching and there's an organization that offers that . I looked into it and it's like maybe a couple of grand . Is it really worth it ? Okay ?

Speaker 1 13:19

Okay , so great , great question . I know you're a journalist , so I , I I want to take this in pieces . Okay , so you want to be a coach and you have a skillset , all right . First of all , in today's market , it's very difficult to just say I'm going to be a coach , right . So the the the idea that you are building that expertise or offering on top of a skill set you have , right , is super important . What do you mean ? Well , you know how to publish and write books , or you understand journalism , right , so you need to build coaching on top of an existing set of experiences and skill set , correct , yeah , okay , but that's not what a lot of people do , but you do like , because , partially , you have to go out into this very busy market and be able to differentiate yourself . Okay , there are a gazillion coaches out there . What's your particular value add , your value proposition that differentiates you ? Well , it's going to have something to do with journalism or or , or the process of writing and getting published . Okay , all right . So I love that , that's great , okay .

Speaker 1 15:00

The second thing is , you need to be very clear . Are you doing consulting or coaching ? They're total . Well , they're not total , they're different . Right , a consultant says I am going to give you three options and I'm going to recommend one of them and you're paying me for my expertise . That is actually about , usually about the content . So if I was going to come to you and say I want to write a book , how do you recommend I go about writing it and you tell me this is the process . Personally , I think that's advising and consulting . I don't think that's coaching . Then we get into semantics right . To me , coaching is more a practice of helping you find the answers inside yourself . I don't know them . Only you know your answers . Now that's coaching in its purest form . What the ICF wants you to do to get certified , okay .

Speaker 2 16:12

I see , so you basically guide them to unlock what they really want .

Speaker 1 16:17

You open them up to it through questions , tools , frameworks , whatever your process is , so that you can answer your own questions . That's very different than saying here's how you set up a publishing business or here . And it's a little bit different than some career coaching , which is a lot about accountability of did you call five recruiters ? Have you looked on LinkedIn and found 10 jobs you want ? That's very tactical sort of transactional coaching , right . But what I also want to say is there's a kind of a huge array . So you need to know , when you go out into the market , who am I and what's my service . And then you need to describe how . You need to decide how to describe it . Okay , I see .

Speaker 1 17:19

And the one last thing I wanted to say is , if you think you want to be a coach and I would never hire anyone to be a coach to be a coach , sometimes I have coaches work for me on certain if they did not have certification through some kind of certifying body . If I work with some ADHD coaches that work for me , I want them to get certified with an ADHD coaching program . That's what I want to see . If you came to me and said I can do ADHD coaching for you and your certification was through a book coaching program I'd say sounds great , but that's not a good fit . So to me , I think there are obviously always exceptions to the rule , but if you're a good coach , you've invested in the learning , the process of coaching and you've invested in being certified . There are exceptions , but that's my POV .

Speaker 2 18:27

So you're saying like I should go ahead and invest in a certification

Exploring ADHD and Publishing Journeys

Speaker 2 18:30

?

Speaker 1 18:30

Yes , If you want to be a coach I don't know if that's actually what you want to be or you want to be an advisor based on your experience and skill I don't know . If you put it this way , it wouldn't hurt , right , it would not hurt you , and that's not a very high price tag , correct ? Yeah , it almost seems a little bit too low if you want my personal opinion , too low of what A price for the .

Speaker 1 18:56

A couple of grand , yeah , okay because , by the way , the training does not get you certified okay through the icf . If , if you take a coaching program , you still have to go through the testing that the ICF administers , that is not through your program , so there's still an additional cost involved .

Speaker 2 19:22

And the ICF certifies all sorts of coaches , or only executive coaches . It does no , all sorts .

Speaker 1 19:29

Ah , that's good to know . I don't think they do Like . I know they do life coaching . I know they do life coaching . I know there's ADHD coaching . I don't know if it's like health coaching . I don't think it is , but I'm not sure I can't speak to that .

Speaker 2 19:46

Okay , I want to shift gears a bit here and talk a bit about ADHD and the reason I mentioned ADHD . I know that you have a lot of focus on coaching people who have ADHD and I've noticed lately that there's a lot of adults that now identify as being ADHD and it has not been the case , and when I read the symptom I was like , huh , maybe I am ADHD . I don't know if this is like . I am just reading the news and I decided I am , but how do you know that and what are the symptoms that you've seen with people who have ADHD ?

Speaker 1 20:24

Okay , Well , I'll tell you just , textbook wise , there are a list of medical criteria that you need to sort of meet . But one thing is ADHD and this is my understanding and my understanding of where the research is today you do not develop ADHD over your life . You are you , it is , it is . It is a neurobiological condition . You're born that way . Your brain is wired differently . Okay , so you don't catch it like a virus or you don't develop it in high school . So the um ?

Speaker 1 21:11

Now , given the craziness of technology and the bombardment of information , I do think we are seeing ADHD like symptoms much more frequently and I'm not qualified to say well , if you have ADHD really , or you have the symptoms , should you treat it the same way or are they different ? That's out of my realm of comfort , of opining . I would say many people feel more distracted , less able to focus , needing more dopamine hits , things like that . But let's go back to ADHD . If you're an adult and you think you have ADHD , first of all you're born with it . Second of all , if you have siblings or parents that you see similar traits , that can be helpful . Like , clearly my mother had ADHD . But clearly Okay , absolutely A hundred percent .

Speaker 1 22:24

Um , the other thing is it needs to have a derogatory this is kind of the medical way of framing it a derogatory impact across multiple areas of your life . So if you said , if someone said , you know , I really have trouble focusing at work , but I don't have any trouble focusing at home , I'm really good in like having conversations or even in a crowd . I can initiate tasks , I can complete them at home and with friends , and I would say you don't have ADHD , you just don't like your job , you just are not interested in what you're doing at work . You need to be able to see the characteristics across domains . I see , okay , okay . So I it doesn't matter if I'm at work or with my family or in a social situation I have a lot of trouble focusing in a crowd Okay , it doesn't matter what part of my life Okay . So that's another key thing in terms of what are considered like ADHD is . Your brain is wired differently and it's usually about executive function issues .

Speaker 1 24:02

Okay , can you give me an example ? Yeah , especially when it comes to communications , like ADHD people do they tend to talk more ? Do they tend to interrupt ? Do they ? So they're dreamier , they're lost in thought ? That tends to be a more common diagnosis of girls and women . And then there's combined so just because someone is not bouncing off , that's kind of our stereotypical example of a boy bouncing off the walls . No , it could be the dreamy girl looking out the window , not paying attention .

Speaker 1 24:40

It's more about an ability to initiate tasks , an ability to see tasks through and and an ability to shift between , like the detail in the bigger picture . Okay , so it's . It's about focus and about and about the ability to plan . That's what your executive functioning skills are for , and about your working memory , right , what you can hold in the short term , and about your processing speed . So there's a lot of different pieces . My son , for example , is extremely slow processor , so it's got nothing to do with his intelligence , but what would take you and I , what would take you and I ? You know , a certain amount of time to absorb ? It takes him much longer . He has to read it through .

Speaker 1 25:42

And now is that , yeah , he processes slower . Okay , and that's part of the learning and retention . So there's also impulsivity , can you ? Is there that space between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex where you can like slow down enough to make a rational decision versus just reacting yeah . And then there is also you know this is not strictly in the diagnosis , but like a hypersensitivity is also very high co-occurrence of addiction with ADHD , and the research today is saying ADHD brains are looking for more dopamine and looking for quick hits of dopamine . They don't have the ability to and I might not be using the quite right words here , like from a medical point of view , but I need quick hits of dopamine to keep me motivated , because what might motivate a neurotypical person and be enough dopamine isn't enough for me , so I look for it in other ways . I have to get up , I have to move , I have to um , uh , like a bright , shiny object . I'm like a bright , shiny object .

Speaker 2 27:21

I'm constantly looking for ways to keep myself engaged in a productive way Wow , fascinating . So we have a few minutes left and I want to ask you a bit about your writing process and your publishing journey . And the reason I'm asking you know ? Because you know , of course , it's a podcast about writing and publishing and I'm curious to know how did you publish your book ? Did you find an agent ? Do you self-publish , did you ? If you found one , how was the process ?

Speaker 1 28:39

So , if you can walk us through your publishing journey , yeah sure , if you can walk us through your , your publishing journey . Yeah , sure . So I um I had been writing for a while online and getting certain things published , primarily on Forbes , and then Wiley , who's my publisher , contacted me and asked me if I wanted to write a book and I said I said yes , and then we still went through a process of um them kind of finally accepting my proposal , but they came to me and yeah , yeah .

Speaker 2 29:24

So that , based on the articles that you published in Forbes and other big publications , did you have to find an agent after you found the publisher ?

Speaker 1 29:37

No , I did not have an agent .

Speaker 2 29:39

No , and you're still unagented now , correct , yeah , correct , okay , okay , okay , and you're still unagented . Now , correct , yeah , correct , okay , okay , okay , yes , um , do you , do you want to find an agent ? Because , uh , one of the things that I hear from other authors is you need to have an agent to be protected . So I I want to hear your thoughts on that well .

Speaker 1 30:01

Well , I am going to write another book and I will probably . I have a very good friend who's

Deciding on Book Publishing Options

Speaker 1 30:08

an agent . I am going to ask her if I need one . I trust her and I have ADHD . I don't do a ton of research . Um , I , I , it's possible . Uh , I , you know . Look , my book came out literally a month ago , so it's very early days . I , I have an idea of what my next book is . I'm not sure who is the right publisher . It could be wiley again . Okay , wiley might not think they're the right publisher . I I don't know yet . Um , think they're the right publisher . I I don't know yet . Um , certainly that you know there are . I did look into self-publishing when I was deciding whether or not to go with Wiley .

Speaker 2 30:54

Uh , it's not cheap and it is not cheap , but it's like uh , at least five , six grand . I .

Speaker 1 31:03

I'm surprised it's . I've heard numbers much higher than that , but if , if you do it yourself , it's five , six grand .

Speaker 2 31:11

If you hire like a huge uh , let's say , self-publishing agency , it can be like 20 grand or more that's , that's what I heard . Yeah , I looked into all of these options . Yeah , yeah .

Speaker 1 31:23

I think the thing about the self-publishing route is you have a lot more freedom in how you do things , whereas you know Wiley , like , knows what it does . It does things a certain way and that's how they're going to do it , and you know you need to look at that from an author's point of view . What do you want ? And the clearer you are on the kind of book you're writing , the more I think that helps you find the right publisher or decide to self-publish or hybrid publish . Um , you know , if you know , for example , you want to write a book with a lot of graphics and sort of funky type and you know a lot of images , to me a lot of publishers won't do that . That may be more a self-publishing route or it would be a very specific niche publisher .

Speaker 2 32:32

Yeah , how is the book doing , by the way ?

Speaker 1 32:35

I think it's doing well . Yeah , I've like a lot of fantastic reviews . It's pretty evergreen because it's you know , basically 10 years of the frameworks I use summarized into 10 , 12 frameworks that I use all the time in all my engagements , and sort of served up so that you as an individual can use them yourself . So it's you know , it's not like about the hybrid workplace that is topic of the day , right ? And yeah , like I , I think my next book will be harder to write because this book , like I actually now truly believe we all have a book inside us .

Speaker 1 33:26

Yeah , whether anybody wants to read it is a different point , but we all have a book inside us and in a way , that's what I did . I just told my story . Right , my next book , I will need to interview a lot of people and figure out what do I do with that . Like , it will be more time intensive and more complicated because it won't just be what's in my head validated by a little research . Yeah , right , it will be . It will be different and I'm still trying to kind of wrap my head around that .

Speaker 2 34:08

Yeah , well , best of luck , and I know you're very busy so I'm not going to take more of your time , but this has been fascinating and when I look into this coaching certificate and best of luck with your book , with your coaching career , and for anyone to reach you or buy your book , how can they reach you ?

Speaker 1 34:33

Oh , thanks for that . So the book is on Amazon . Antonia Bowring Coach Yourself , increase Awareness , change Behavior and Thrive Real , easy to find . You can also buy it or contact me through my website , which is ab-strategiescom , and I'm on LinkedIn . Just my name , antonia Bowering , and my passion project is . I'm on LinkedIn , just my name , antonia Bowring , and my passion project is . I'm on TikTok talking about ADHD . Antonia Bowring , 963 .

Speaker 2 35:17

You get a lot of engagement on TikTok . No .

Speaker 1 35:21

Well , I am inching my way up to becoming viral . Good for you .

Speaker 2 35:27

I'm going to add you to . I'm on TikTok but not that active . But yeah , I'll add you .

Speaker 1 35:32

Oh okay , find me , follow me . I'll be so happy , okay .

Speaker 2 35:36

Thank you very much and , for anyone who's listening or watching , thank you for joining us for another episode of Read and Write with Natasha and , until we meet again , thank you for tuning in to Read and Write with Natasha . I'm your host , natasha Tynes . If today's episode inspired you in any way , please take the time to review the podcast . Remember to subscribe and share this podcast with fellow book lovers . Until next time , happy reading , happy writing .